Jul. 7th, 2017 01:29 pm
tkdw_vlogs2017: (What the hell)
[personal profile] tkdw_vlogs2017
In about a month I'm quitting Blarney Castle. The customers are way too verbally abusive and I can't take it anymore. Last night I made a mistake. I'm human, I make mistakes just like everybody else. At closing time there was 1 pump left pumping. I got confused and thought they were paying with a card at the pump, so I closed the store and I was going to wait until they were done to shut the pumps off. That's how it always goes, night after night. I went back to shut off the lights and when I came back somebody was pounding on the door. Now that's happened before and Dar said ignore those people and don't reopen the store, so that's what I did. I thought they just wanted beer like people always do because once we close they can't get beer in Indian River anymore because Shell across the road doesn't sell it. I went over the turn the coffee pots back on and they kept pounding. So I went over to try to tell them we close at 11 and they were yelling through the glass that they had gas to pay for. Shit! So I unlocked the door and it was one guy who's a regular and his wife and 2 kids. I said since we were closed that he could come in and pay for the gas, but that I couldn't let everybody in (that's policy). Well, the woman flipped the fuck out and insisted that she and her kids come in and buy a bunch of shit, so I let them all in. What the fuck ever. She then waited until the guy went in the bathroom, obviously not wanting him to hear her, and proceeded to chew me right the fuck out. I tried apologizing, but that wasn't good enough for her. She made it perfectly clear that I'm a no good fucking idiot and that the only way to make it okay was to give them the gas for free. She kept saying that since I locked the door, they didn't have to pay for it. I just said fuck it and deleted the gas off their sale. The guy came out and wanted to pay for the gas and I told him no because she wouldn't stop freaking out on me. He stormed out all pissed off, but hey, his nasty bitch got what she wanted. So I left Rich a note saying what happened and that I will be paying the $46.24 for their gas when I go in to work today at 5. I had to wait until today because it's payday and I had no money last night. *sigh* I'm just so absolutely sick of being verbally abused. DeLynn has been calling and doing it, too. So many customers, most of them local regulars, have been treating me like I'm a no good piece of shit just because I'm a cashier, like I'm 5000 levels below them, like I'm not a worthy human being, and like I'm their no good slave, just like at McDonald's. I can't hand it anymore. I don't deserve to be made to feel like a bad person just because I work in customer service.

So Don surprised me and said I can stick it out for another month, we get things paid off, like the $157.00 I owe dad, and get our cell phones paid off, and then I can quit and take a year or 2 off. Wow! That's different!

There are things I need to focus on anyway, like re-losing all this weight. I'm almost back to 300 lbs! Plus, a gas station is a bad place to be with my uncontrollable binge eating. I eat myself sick there every night!

I will never ever EVER work in customer service again. Even if I have to go be a dishwasher at a restaurant, I want to be hidden from all the horrible, hateful, heartless assholes. Almost every person who walks through the doors of that gas station automatically hates my guts and wants me dead JUST because I'm a cashier and they think they are all SO MUCH BETTER than me. I mentally cannot take it anymore. I do not have a thick skin. I take everything straight to heart. It's part of my depression and lack of self esteem. So working with the public is only making me sicker.

I slept like shit last night, having nightmares over and over about the things going on at work. Ugh!

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